[Frank Jones]

Have you ever wondered if you get your money's worth out of a hamburger purchase? We all know that choosing the right burger is a tough decision nowadays: Some burgers are flatter than others, some may have several stories, and once in a while they even come with vegetables inside! So how should you know if a burger is really better than its counter-product? Well, that's what I invented the Mouth Full-Standard for: The MF-Test will answer the question by telling you how many bites it takes me to eat a hamburger when I really concentrate (the burger, of course). That way, you can compare ALL hamburgers and base your decision on real facts.
Already tested: Cheeseburger (Burger King) MF 1.7
Double-Cheeseburger (McDonalds) MF 2.0
Bic Mac (McDonalds) MF 2.8

Reward: Invite me to your restaurant, and I'll standardize your burgers for you!

[Michael D. Grissom]

Why not just weigh the burgers meat after cooking?

Then name the burgers accordingly:

"The Burger King point three two five"

"Big Mac point two nine eight"

"Wendy's Biggie point three five seven"

or,... to make it even simpler (for us), name the burgers after their price per oz of cooked meat at the time. hmm

"The Zero Two Zero Whopper" verses
"The Zero One Zero Wendy's"

That makes Wendy's the clear choice at a glance.