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By ganzo29
#2548
Don't you hate when you have gas and you know that you are to be in a long meeting and you do not know what to do about it. Well I have the solution for you. What these would be called are butt certs. Kinda like those little breathe mint paper sheets that you put in your mouth and they dissolve giving you good breathe. Well these would be the same way except you put them in your "crack" and with in minute or so it would dissolve and leave you smelling good. If you need to pass gas then you could and all it would smell like is the flavor that you put in there. Cinnamon, strawberry etc. You would not have to worry about another meeting, church, etc again.

Reward: A fresh smell even in closed areas! ya!
User avatar
By Steve
#2605
Haha, this one really made me crack up, totally awesome!!! ;-D

Just one question: wouldn't it be just as embarrassing if you're in a meeting and all of a sudden, without warning, the room would smell like strawberry? 8-o
By ganzo29
#2670
I love the picture! That is a classic! I just think that this would be so funny especially as Steve said what if you were in a meeting and all of a sudden it smelled like strawberries? Aghhh that would lighten up the meeting a bit no? Especially if it was a serious one!
By tozerbros
#3314
Strawberry I could live with but would the Cinnamon flavor burn your "Crack" like it seems to burn your mouth. Great idea though and I think alot of wives would buy these by the truck load... :-P
By JSTNANDERS6
#3508
i think it would burn your crack period because most of em are made with alchol
By MissPlayful
#3526
While you are positioning your butt cert, why not also insert a tiny disposable musical instrument. A miniature mouth organ would probably be suitable, and if it's a church service you’re attending, with a bit of practice you could probably make a valuable contribution to the music!
User avatar
By Steve
#3528
;-D :-D
By midoh
#3532
:-o

I think that what generally causes the most embar-ass-ment(ged-it?) is not the peggy-dell(smell) rather the loud report( fart!). While the problem of odour has been dealt with in a creative manner by previous contributors(cinnamon,strawberry,etc),there remains the outstanding problem of noisome flatulence(to put it rather delicately!)What I propose as a solution is a sort of miniature pressure regulator which instead of a harsh P-A-R-P! sound would give a somewhat quieter P-sssssssstttt! sound.This would require carefull selection of a P-A-R-P! TO P-sssssssstttt! attennuation factor for the prototype fart-filter. A ratio of Log10 might be suitable.
As those fiendishly clever German Techies. say:

Vorsprung durch Technick! :-° :-° :-° :-°
User avatar
By Steve
#3536
Why not integrate this with something that already has been invented? ;-)

Image
By midoh
#3537
;-D :-D

Hello!,
.......my...name....is.....FART,......James FART!!!


Licence......to.......KILL(PHHHHSSSSTTTTTT)!



!+) F !+) A !+) R !+) T
By midoh
#3612
I was wondering,
if the filter could be made out of activated charcoal(I think they're use in gas masks!) it could filter out the most unpleasant of the gases (hydrogen sulphide) which contribute most to the bad odour.Fragrances/perfumes would only tend to mask the odour rather than eliminate it. Only thing outstanding would be to reduce the dimensions of the filter to a suitable size: you don't want a large cylindrical poking out of your butt! :-D -midoh
By MissPlayful
#3613
A search for "activated charcoal" + farting on Google produced all sorts of interesting and sometimes amusing results, including an advertisement for a flatulence filter pad on this link:
http://www.flatulence-filter.com/new%20product.htm
"We are happy to announce that our newest product, the Flatulence Filter pad is again available for shipment. The Flatulence Filter pad is a smaller version of the seat cushion, allowing the wearer to insert it into their clothing. The pad is an activated carbon filter measuring 7-1/2 inches in length, 1/2 inch thick and is enclosed in a 100% cotton fabric cover. The cover is removable so that it can be washed daily. The filter pad will last up to 6 months, (depending on amount of gas expelled.)"
User avatar
By Michael D. Grissom
#3617
MissPlayful,...

God I hope your a guy or married 'cuz I don't EVER want to marry or even date again!

Please don't make me block your responses!!!

Please,.. just once,... for my sake,... say something stupid or illogical.

:~(
User avatar
By Michael D. Grissom
#3618
The *beep* word that was sensored out above was "s*tupid".
Used in this context should be ok.
I can't complain because that's one of the things I like most about this site --> 99% child safe filtering (I always leave at least a 1% margin because inventors by nature think nothing is impossible). :-]
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