A Dastardly Invention to Control Cats
Tired of raucously fighting and mating cats waking you up at two am in the morning?
How about this dastardly scheme to keep cats in their homes at night - I am sure all cat owners will appreciate this one! I need someone to invent a mechanism whereby, when a cat triggers a tripwire, about half a bucket of harmless to cats but very indelible red dye tips onto the cat. Dripping with red dye, it wanders off home, in through the cat door, and walks all over the owner’s carpets leaving a trail of indelible red footprints, and as an added bonus, curls up on the owner’s best bedspread. If many people in suburbia set these cat-dyeing devices out at night in their back yards, I’m sure most cat owners would soon decide to keep their cats indoors at night.
And now, with my white lab coat on and chuckling manically to myself, it’s back to my master plan to seize the night back from those fiendish felines and take control of the universe!